Nightmare #2, “Oh, excuse me Jess, mind if I sit on this toilet?”

It all began with what Jess and I believed to be the most amazing beach barbecue EVER, and ended in a puke/pooh fest or pookfest(SR) nightmare.

I woke up feeling kind of odd, quickly turning over to the left to see if Jess was still beside me in bed, which was and always has been the morning ritual. (since its cheaper to share a double wide bed than to have a separate room in Thailand, this is what Jess and I do) Jess, however was not in the bed but the odd feeling I was feeling instantly transformed into complete nausea, and upon overwhelming me caused me to forget any concern I had for Jess.

I quickly ran to our private bathroom which was attached to the side of our bungalow, and pushed open the door. To my surprise, there was Jess sitting with his head in his hands and on the very toilet I needed to use.  “Excuse me Jess, would you mind if I use this toilet,” I asked.  Wearily lifting his head, and with the same look of surprise on his face he said, “well certainly Sander, you may use this toilet.” I was already on the toilet before he even managed to escape the bathroom, and my bum literally exploded! ‘That whole thing’ lasted for about 15 seconds and then another equally sickening feeling rose to my mouth, however I was unable to do anything about it at this time, so instead I ended up puking up the remains of some undigested peanuts and a random orange liquid all over my bare naked knees and feet.

After washing off and feeling much better I returned to our bed and fell asleep. Little did I know that this would be happening every 45 minutes or so for the next 8-14 hours, and with much similarity to the first time in the bathroom. I became so desperate at times in attempting to make myself feel better that I would lay down on the disgusting bathroom floor, completely naked and continued puking all over myself, over and over and over and over and over again.

Eventually I felt better after a combination of antibiotics and some Gravol, but it is safe to say I will never eat peanuts or Thai beach barbecue during the low season ever again. Apparently the meat has the chance of sitting out for longer than it should during the low season…..who knew, but that’s food poisoning for you and I would not recommend this for anybody.